Episode 1 (18+)
Long before I ever heard the term Yuppie I
guess I was one. I don't think it would make a
good country western song title but I'll cop to
it. At the time of this story I probably had
twenty five or twenty six suits in my closet, at
least that many pairs of shoes, a brand new Thunderbird, a year old motorcycle and a three
year old Corvette. I was a charter member of
one of Dallas' first racquetball/fitness clubs. I
had one of those fancy leather billfolds that
goes into your suit jacket pocket and that
rascal would barely close for all the credit cards I carried. I was Vice President of Personnel for
a fair sized company and had an ass pocket full
of money and a cleanin' lady that spiffed up
the condo once a week. In short, I was a stud. A
catch. A walkin', talkin' babe magnet with a
razor cut hairdo and a 10-inch dick. Ok, I made up the part about the 10-inch dick but I was
still a hell of a catch.
This was a wonderful time to be alive. Free
love was still in high gear and a dose of
penicillin would fix just about any thing that
you could get from unprotected sex. I worked in a high turnover industry and had a constant
supply of willing lovelies comin' through the
front door. Not that I would ever use my
position to coerce anybody but if a gal had a
few at happy hour and decided she couldn't
live another night without jumpin' my bones I sure wasn't gonna argue with her.
There was one gal that went to work for us
that was totally, absolutely and unconditionally
unimpressed with me. I know, hard to believe
but true. I tried every line, every routine I knew
and she just flat out wasn't buyin' anything I had to sell. And she always looked at me with
this little Mona Lisa sorta smile that made me
feel like I was eight years old and tellin' fibs to
my Momma. It was like she really wanted to
laugh at my weak-assed bull shit but was too
much of a lady. Eventually I gave up and we became friends and developed a great
relationship. Then she fixed me up.
She had been living alone for quite some time
and when she decided to buy a new car she
also went shoppin' for a roommate. Good logic
that. Save on rent, more money to make a car payment. Smart lady. Smart lady with a really
cute new roommate. Really cute new
roommate with a good job and no boyfriend.
Really cute new roommate with a good job, no
boyfriend and two Schnauzers. Yeah,
Schnauzers. You know those semi-hyperactive prissy little dogs with permanent bad breath
and body odor. Those Schnauzers. And I don't
want any friggin' letters from you
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